Well, where should I start.....I've just come back from the strongest class we have ever had in our 7 weeks Training! Which is what Bikram said and I felt super strong and it was Super super good! It keeps on amazing me this Yoga and this training....we've been absolutely killed and slaughtered by Bikram last night and the night before, had numerous students who had to be carried out of the room, breaking down, heat exhaustion or all over body cramping. And today, NOT ONE PERSON LEFT THE ROOM. We were strong, united and full of energy. This is all Bikram's plan, to kill us and then rebuild us. Touch wood, I've not had to leave the Yoga room so far and not experienced any bad cramping, just the occasional numbness in the arms.
Apart from that this week has been really a f.......difficult week. Beginning of the week I think half the students wanted to go home and just felt like they've seen it, done it and were ready to leave....so the atmosphere was strange. I felt like that too, did not have any energy. I've also lost a bit of my confidence in Posture delivery and then finally yesterday, when I delivered Head to Knee with Stretching - I finished after loosing a couple of lines and then said "this was terrible" and burst out into tears in front of 30 or so people.....I think it was a general emotional release of this whole training, the long days, the sore body, the mind having to learn the postures and the pressure of doing a good delivery. And people who know me, that I am a perfectionist and put pressure on myself, so I can be quite hard on myself if I don't perform well.
In any case the posture delivery was fine and it wasn't even terrible, that was just my perception.
It's amazing how many people actually go through a very similar process and feeling quite like I did.
Anyway, one more to go, the Spine Twisting Posture, I couple of people went today but I felt it was better to wait, learn it well over the weekend and make a good final delivery (or at least give my best).
As Bikram says, it's all about trying the RIGHT way.
The lack of sleep doesn't help when you feel a bit shaky anyway and then you have the women's cycle which can also play havoc with the physical and mental state.
Anyway enough of that.
It's now Friday evening and this week felt like a month for me....It's also the pressure of the reality hitting me that I will actually return to England as a Bikram Yoga Teacher (fingers crossed). And I will never again be able to practice in the studio as a student but as a teacher. So a whole range of emotions are involved in this new way of thinking. It's very exciting but also pretty scary.
TODAY IN ONE WEEK my dear husband will be arriving here in Mexico - I can't wait to see him and show him where I have been living for the past 8 weeks and the Yoga studio etc. It's all pretty impressive.
Tonight we have another video night with Bikram, I pray that it wont be past 1am. We all take pillows and ear plugs with us. The ear plugs because they play the film so loud and as we anyway only read sub titles it's more agreeable....
That's it for now.
1 week and 4 days to go. And we are one week ahead with posture clinic. So there might be some extra little posture delivery surprises awaiting us....I hope not and am worried where all the postures are in my brain, hopefully just ready to be used when I'm back in England!!!!
Lots of love,
K the Yogini xxx
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